Funny story: Men and women are different (Don’t get mad at me girls)


A Guide for the Married Man
A Guide for the Married Man (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

from an email: NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it …. and to the men who will enjoy reading it


Comments

38 responses to “Funny story: Men and women are different (Don’t get mad at me girls)”

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  5. Reblogged this on The shooting doctor and commented:
    Thoughts from a NATURAL man..

  6. On the other hand, on paying the bill, in the brilliant TV comedy series Father Ted (Irish writers, Irish actors, made in England) the priest’s neurotic and obsessive housekeeper Mrs Doyle has met an old female friend for a meal in a restaurant. At the end, each of them insists on paying the entire bill. Neither will budge. The argument gets more and more vigorous and ends with the restaurant trashed and the women in police custody.

    1. My husband and I are miisntry partners and have co-pastored a few children’s ministries since we got married. At our first church we had an annual event called Powerweek. On the last night we wanted to do something fun to involve the parents so we had a Family Olympics night. The night consisted of a bunch of crazy games, one of which included, passing water balloons that had been coated in vegetable oil. We had a kid pool full of vegetable oil where the water balloons marinated’ before the game. The game was great and disgusting and let us a step closer to awarding our gold medals to the winning family. At the end of the night we were exhausted and just dumped out the pool in front of the fellowship hall.The flood of vegetable oil ran off the grass and soaked into the pavement in the parking lot. It created a HUGE oil spot bigger than our poor 95 Nissan Sentra. You can imagine the meetings we were called to! For weeks we had to park over the spot on Sunday at the request of the leadership to cover this eye sore.We attempted to clean it up with huge bags of cat litter, soap, water, special chemicals from cleaning companies nothing worked. They eventually had to have the entire 200+car parking lot resurfaced and to this day it still looks like slightly different color than the surrounding pavement!We can always be certain that we left our mark’ on the church!

    2. Karthi, why shud I forget u? I still rebmemer our old days in Mepco.. How’re u? How’s everyone at home? Keep in touch and Many Thanks for the comments, dude ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Julie Catherine Avatar
    Julie Catherine

    LOL! Loved this post! Funny, and true! (Thanks to Caddo Veil for pointing us in your direction!) ~ Julie ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Sanctified Brother Avatar
    Sanctified Brother

    That was great! I’ve always been interested in male/female dynamics and this put a smiley face on the topic. Thank you.

    1. congrats on baby # 6. just started thnnkiig today how nice it would be to have another one myself. would be nice if it was a boy too. have all girls (4). i think my husband about fainted when i mentioned having another one. he loves my girls and kids too, but my pregnancies are hard. i get terrible morning sickness to the point of having to take meds and sometimes getting rehydrated via iv. praying all goes well for you.

  9. Thanks for a good laugh! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. mQ^-^ Posted on hey, recently I’m just sattred to make a music blog too : )you should find unique name and easy remember..I knew it is hard, because mostly names are not available..

  10. Funny, especially on the awful things nightfall does to us women…
    found this via Caddo Veil, just so you know. ๐Ÿ™‚

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