Funny story: Men and women are different (Don’t get mad at me girls)


A Guide for the Married Man
A Guide for the Married Man (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

from an email: NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman.
EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and who can handle it …. and to the men who will enjoy reading it


Comments

38 responses to “Funny story: Men and women are different (Don’t get mad at me girls)”

  1. hodgepodge4thesoul Avatar
    hodgepodge4thesoul

    Too funny ๐Ÿ˜€ I appreciate our differences…

  2. Caddo Veil Avatar
    Caddo Veil

    Reblogged this on Caddo Veil and commented:
    Introducing my new friend, Brad Stanton! This post is a must-have laugh today–let’s give a warm Caddo Veil welcome to Brad!

  3. Bare Heart Promenade Avatar
    Bare Heart Promenade

    Reblogged this on BARE HEART PROMENADE and commented:
    This is a must-have laugh, seriously! Brad is my kind of believing brother–with a heart for God, and he knows that a good sense of humor is truly a gift from the Lord. Taste and see that He is Good!!

    1. I’m speechless. This can be a srpueb blog and very attractive too. Nice work! That’s now not actually a lot coming from an newbie publisher like me, however it’s all I may just say after diving into your posts. Nice grammar and vocabulary. Not like other blogs. You actually recognise what you?re talking about too. Such a lot that you made me want to discover more. Your blog has develop into a stepping stone for me, my friend.

  4. Bare Heart Promenade Avatar
    Bare Heart Promenade

    Brad, I am Howling with laughter!!–all by myself, because I’m Blessed to be Alone (with Jesus). How do you feel about reblogs? Because I’m thinking this needs to go up on Caddo Veil. God bless you, brother (and your lovely wife).

    1. You are certainly welcome to reblog any of my posts, I am thankful if you do.

      1. you can call me e Posted on The Simple TruthTruth SerumTruth or ConsequencesHonesty or BustIt actually sdnuos like an interesting blog. I wouldn’t mind checking it out when it is up and running!

  5. “NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.” This did it for me, loved the post ๐Ÿ˜€

  6. Love it! I needed that laugh! Have a great day and thanks for stopping by my corner of the web! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. I’m speechless. This can be a srepub blog and very attractive too. Nice work! That’s now not actually a lot coming from an newbie publisher like me, however it’s all I may just say after diving into your posts. Nice grammar and vocabulary. Not like other blogs. You actually recognise what you?re talking about too. Such a lot that you made me want to discover more. Your blog has develop into a stepping stone for me, my friend.

  7. Lamberta Avatar
    Lamberta

    This is so true! ๐Ÿ˜€ People need to start being more honest about their own gender and realize that we both do funny things. Quite a funny post.

  8. Men aren’t very good-looking, whether we’ve been to bed or not.

    My wife was going to church for her ex’s memorial service. (“I’d do anything for that man except live with him anymore!”) That morning, she saw a garage sale down the block. She went in, not thinking of anything in particular, and noticed a high-quality black dress hanging there. And shoes that went with it. Your mileage varies, one person to another….

    Margaret Mead(?): ~”Every culture we know of says there are definite psychological differences between men and women. And disagrees on what they are.”

    1. Yes, i see differences in children by age 4. I help out with the 4 year olds in church once a month.

  9. Reading this post, it occurred to me that I will give more freedom to my wife … I will enlarge the kitchen ๐Ÿ™‚
    Great post!
    You may like this one on similar matters

    puzzy stock dropping โ€“ (en)

  10. Love it, friend! Now my day is off to a good start… God bless.

    1. Thank you for taking turns that good sjceubt matter on the site. I ran across it on the internet. I am going to check an extra chance after you post extra aricles.

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